Thursday, June 4, 2020

Towards Freedom from Racism


I share with you this spiritual journey that Jesus has taken me on towards freedom from racism. I am still on that journey. The undoing takes repetition, humility and determination. However, the joy of knowing I am moving towards becoming “part of the solution” instead of remaining “part of the problem” keeps motivating me.

There is also grace, God’s amazing grace, which is literally transforming me, by the power of Jesus death and resurrection. So often we treat things like racism as a “political issue” which requires hard, mental work (aka doing it in your own strength) which, at most, results in “well managed behavior so we don’t offend” but our hearts remain unchanged.

I have come to see that healing from racism is a spiritual issue, in which the Holy Spirit can renew my heart and mind from the inside out as I intentionally commit to these steps of repentance. Pastor Craig Duvel from Pineland Baptist Church outlined these, Repentance Steps, which can be applied to everything that robs us from being our whole selves as originally designed by God. I have applied these to the sin of racism.

As this is my prayer based on my journey some of these may be relevant to you, others may not. My hope is that the Holy Spirit will show you which actions and thoughts God wants to free you from. Let us lay down defensiveness and embrace the gift of repentance that leads to times of refreshing. (Acts 3: 19)

Some points for clarification:

1.     I use the term racism to describe any action or belief which is a result of the lie that “white is better and black is less”. Growing up in South Africa, we have all been exposed to this thinking. Please follow this link and this link for blog posts unpacking this lie. Please don’t let the common definition of racism = “hating black or brown people” rob you from this process.

2.     It’s always tricky to know which terms to use as people self-identify in many ways. Some people prefer the term “People of Colour” that includes those categorized by the Apartheid Government as Black, Coloured and Indian. Others prefer the term “black and brown people” as an all-embracing term of those who have been oppressed by white people and systems. With the risk of offending some, I will be using the latter. I thank you for your grace in seeing past the labels to the content.


That said, let me begin:  

Step 1: Recognise and Confess

I confess these actions that have contributed to the racist society in which I live:


1. I have minimized the pain of black and brown people.

I have made my need to feel comfortable and safe more important than a black or brown person’s wounds or pain.

I hear a black or brown person talking about their lived experience of racism but on a deep level I don’t really believe it, or I minimize it or dismiss it as “them not having understood the situation” or that they have a “chip on their shoulder”

I really struggle to receive a message from a black or brown person regarding their experience of injustice if it is not presented in a calm and civil manner. If a black or brown person is loud, angry, aggressive, or destructive, I focus on the way in which they are communicating rather than that which has caused them to respond in a way that feels “uncivilized.”

When I see news reports about protests that include burning of tires or property, my gut reaction is to be angry or frustrated at things should be destroyed, rather than instinctively asking “what living conditions have led to human beings to protest in such a way?”


2. I expect black and brown people to adapt, yet I am comfortable that I don’t.

I am blind to how black and brown people need to adapt, assimilate and lose part of themselves to fit into the spaces that I move through so easily, e.g. schools, academic institutions, workplaces and churches. Not only am I blind to this, but I am actually quite impressed with a black or brown person who has done so; I say they “speak English well” or “fit into our church” as if they are now “better” because they are not their full being?

I have not prioritized learning an African language. I struggle to really see the value or importance of an African language. I am content with black and brown people learning my language and I think that that is just how things should be. I do not realise all the relational opportunity I am missing out on. 

I have not spent much time or effort to really understand apartheid and its implications. I am deeply uncomfortable when there is talk about how “the wrongs of apartheid” remain with us today. I think that the current government’s corruption is the main (or only) reason for the broken society we have. I struggle to understand why people can’t move on from talking about apartheid. In so doing I ignore the root causes of many of our injustices.

I have chosen to not go into the townships and other majority black or brown spaces. I have chosen to stay in spaces in the city where white people are in the majority.  I feel uncomfortable when I am outnumbered by a majority of black and brown people. I am drawn to spaces where its dominated by white people. I have not fully connected with God’s heart that grieves over segregation.


3. I haven’t received criticism from black and brown people well.

I find it hard when a black or brown person says I have hurt him/her because I know that I didn’t mean to hurt them. I know my intentions and rely on those to guide me rather than seriously taking the feedback from my black or brown friend. I find myself getting defensive. I think that if I didn’t mean to hurt them then somehow that should lessen the pain of the action.

I find it hard to hear a black or brown person talking about another white person who has displayed racist action towards them. If I haven’t seen that white person being racist, I find it hard to believe that they could be. I think my black or brown friend must be misreading or misunderstanding, rather than trusting their perception.

 

4. I haven’t done much to put the wrongs right.

I have not used the influence that I do have to change the unjust systems that apartheid set up: in my workspace, neighbourhood, my children’s school and faith spaces. These problems seem too big and so I have just continued with the way things are, even though people are suffering. 

I have found it hard to speak out about issues because I am unsure what to say or I am not good with conflict and I don’t want to cause trouble.

I have not participated in many protests/petitions; nor written to my councilor about the inequalities in our city that are hurting black and brown people, e,g lack of toilets, inequality in policing budget, education system that maintains the economic divisions, lack of street lights in townships or many other issues.

 

5. I have been socialized to trust a white person’s perspective.

I recognize that I have been socialized to trust a white voice more than a black or brown voice. I subconsciously feel more reassured by a white voice, whereas I, implicitly, carry suspicion towards a black or brown voice.

I have come to see that my whole upbringing has taught me that African cultures have nothing to offer, and that I need only look to the West (USA and Europe) for knowledge, learning and solutions.

I have big gaps in my exposure and knowledge of African theologians, bible scholars and teachers, worship leaders and songs. My religious upbringing has not taught me to value an African perspective as one that could deepen my spirituality.

 

I confess the following emotions that feed my racist actions:

  • Being fearful to challenge the way things are done.
  • Being fearful of speaking up about another person’s racism because I don’t want to offend them and I know it will be a hard for them to hear. I know they are not a “bad person”.
  • Having a deep fear of being called racist, as if my whole character and identity will be called into being. So, I find it hard to even self-reflect to ask the question “where am I believing the lie that white is better and black is less”.
  • Feeling resistant to learn new ways of engaging with people, ways that our outside of my culture and what makes sense to me. (One example, in isiXhosa it is polite to ask a person how they are before introducing oneself by name, yet I perceive this way of greeting as an annoyance when a call-center person asks me how I am first.)
  • Feeling stuck and despairing that I can change.
  • Feeling hopeless and overwhelmed by the bigness of the problem.
  • Feeling rejection and some anger at black people who seem to not like white people.
  • Feeling shame at having white skin.

 

I confess that I allow these lies to reinforce my racist attitudes:

·        I have tolerated this lie “White is better and black is less”.

·        Since I don’t have conscious feelings of hate or dislike for black and brown people, I believe that I am “not racist” not acknowledging the many ways I have been socialized to have racist thought. Therefore, I tell myself that I don’t need to examine my inner thoughts and attitudes.

·        Because I didn’t mean to hurt someone, and intentions are pure, then my actions can’t be that damaging or hurtful.

·        God can’t use me to change anything. The world is so damaged that it can’t really be made right. What is the point in trying?

·        I am not sure God can really undo my socializing to believe that “white is better and black is less”, I just have to “try harder in my own strength” to be politically correct.

·        I don’t have any blindspots, I see everything there is to be seen.

 

I recognize that I have partnered with the Spiritual Forces of Racism and White superiority.

 

I recognize that my sin of racism, supports the bigger systemic and structural racial injustices.

I confess that the lie of “white is better and black is less” is woven into the fabric of our society, which means that there are systems in place which oppress and benefit people according to their skin colour. These systems were designed over many years and have deep historical roots in colonialism and apartheid, and yet they remain today because my generation has not had the courage and commitment to dismantle them.

 

Step 2: Repent and Forgive

I break all agreements with Racism and White Superiority that I have made knowingly and unknowingly.

I renounce Racism and White Superiority and turn away from them, recognising that they are sins that breaks God’s heart and are in direct opposition to the kingdom mission of Jesus.

I ask forgiveness from every person I have hurt, wounded or oppressed, whether knowingly or unknowingly, because of the way I have tolerated Racism and White Superiority in my life.

I ask God to fully renew my mind and change my heart so that I will joyfully and willingly let go of all benefits that tolerating that Racism and White Superiority has given me. I will start by learning what these are so I can relinquish them.

 

Step 3: Receive and believe our Forgiveness

Jesus, I receive your forgiveness. I thank you that, though I don’t deserve it, you are cleansing me from Racism and White Superiority.

Thank you that your word says that if I confess my sins then you are faithful and just to forgive me of those sins. I recognise that this is only made possible because of the work that you, Jesus, did on the cross, through your death and by your resurrection.

 

Step 4: Resist and Reject

In the name of Jesus, I resist and reject all spiritual forces of Racism and White Superiority.

By Jesus’ power I uproot every stronghold Racism and White Superiority that has been built in my life and I close every door of access that is open in my life.

 

Step 5: Replace with the Opposite

Jesus, You came to restore humanity to Yourself and to restore the broken relationships between us humans. Show me how to replace Racism and White Superiority with Your Truth.

·        The truth is that all people are made in Your image and are of equal value.

·        The truth is that I can listen and receive the perspective of someone else in a way that brings deeper understanding.

·        The truth is that You invite me into the discomfort of different languages and spaces, and in those “out of depth” moments I grow in my spirituality and humanity.

·        The truth is that, by Your supernatural help, I can be humble and teachable to receive honest feedback from those who are different to me.

·        The truth is that You can renew my mind and give me a new way of engaging

·        The truth is that You can free me from fear and pride so I can engage in life-bringing friendships with black and brown people.

·        The truth is that You can show me how to partner You in restoring all that Racism and White Superiority has damaged and stolen from individuals, communities and systems.

·        The truth is that You can give me words of life to speak as I stand up for justice and declare Your truth.

·        The truth is that You have gifted and use black or brown people to build your kingdom and to contribute to making this world remarkable with their knowledge, skills, inventions, and perspective.

·        The truth is that as I surrender my privilege and let go of my pride, that I regain my humanity

·        The truth is that Your love drives out all fear.

·        The truth is that I don’t need to submit to shame nor wield it to bring change in myself or others, you transform me through your love.

·        The truth is that You made us for community of diversity with different languages, culture and knowledge; and we will all benefit from embracing perspectives from Africa. Our picture of You Lord will be richer and deeper as diverse people worship together.

  

Step 6: Restitution

Lord God Your word says that we should “Produce fruit in keeping with repentance” (Luke 3:8) and I thank you for the role model of Zacchaeus who demonstrated how repentance can lead to joy-filled putting right of wrongs (Luke 9: 1-10)

I commit to a restitution lifestyle where every decision and action I make is led by Your mission to “put wrongs right.”

I commit to learning from my mistakes and to stay on the journey even through discomfort, awkwardness, messiness and when things are not always clear.

I commit time, energy and effort to learning about our past and current injustices.

I offer my resources, my belongings, my finances, my relationships, my understanding, my positions of influence and leadership, my voice, my energy, my thinking, my skills and talents, my home, my family, and my heart towards dismantling racial injustice and to putting the wrongs of racism right.

I thank you Lord for the guidance, direction and power of the Holy Spirit to work this out in my life, that I do not do this in my own strength.

In your powerful and precious name Jesus,

Amen.

1 comment:

  1. This is a truly profound post Jacqui. Thank you for doing the deep thinking and showing the way. Thank you for taking to heart those lessons from Sunday and applying them toa huge real problem in such a practical way. Enormously helpful.

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